I've noticed that I do lots of "stuff"
I do tidying, I do cleaning, I do cooking, I do sorting out. I do playing the piano, I do painting, I do writing. I do working, I do gardening.
I don't do the hard things.
I noticed this because today I did a very hard thing.
While doing it I cried, as did everyone around me. People I had never met before cried with me and hugged me
Afterwards, I felt a weight had been lifted. The thing that I had been putting off for nearly 3 years was done. In doing it, I had been held and supported by fellow Humans who had nothing to gain by being there for me, and who I may never interact with again
So why did I put it off for so long?
Because it was hard!
But it wasn't as hard as some of the things I still have to do
I'm hoping that I internalize how I felt after doing it. That no matter how difficult things are, the thinking beforehand not only extends forward the feeling, but is also worse
So now I'm going to get on with my day, and decide which hard thing to do next....