A second chance

yesterday, it was eight months since my world changed without any notice.

eight months of a totally new way of living. Eight months of worrying about those closest to me. Eight months of having to do more “stuff” than in the entire rest of my life together.

eight months of wondering who I am in this new world I find myself in.

it’s quite extraordinary how I could have thought I knew who I was. I’ve not changed myself; not been ill, not moved house, not changed job. But I am a totally different person from who I was eight months and one day ago. I actually bear very little resemblance to who I was then.

todays “wonder” is whether I mind this second life. That’s how I think of it - it’s my second life.

I very very much wish it hadn't happened. So much wish I could be Superman and turn back the planet and therefore time.

but I can’t

so I am going to embrace my second life. I’m going to spend as much time as it takes to find out who I am this time around.

and then I’m going to live.