What do I do?
Yesterday I was told something about a friend. I didn’t know it before and it wasn’t an actual “thing” it was that “people were saying” she did “the thing”.
I didn’t know what to do. If I didn’t tell her then what sort of friend would that make me? If I did tell her then would it be indulging in gossip?
So I told her. It wasn’t pleasant and she got very defensive, because she had not done “the thing”. I kept saying that I wasn’t suggesting she had, I was telling her what was being said because she is in a position to do something about it, to correct the misunderstanding that seems to be “out there”
Then we realised, and I really do think it was a “we”, that had I not said anything it would have hung between us. I’d know it and know I was keeping it from her, and she’d know I wasn’t saying something. Because we are quite close.
It turned out that it was a tricky moment that passed.
We are in a much better place now than we would be, had I kept it from her.
I don’t like to think about whether this would have worked out as well had she not been able to do something about it. I‘m not sure it would have been helpful. In that situation, maybe it would have been a selfish thing, getting it off my chest and making her feel terrible.
Hopefully I’ll never ever have to figure that one out!