Summer seems to have gone by so quickly - the blink of an eye and today is suddenly the start of Autumn
It wasn’t quick really, of course
So much has happened since May
Some good, like family time and a bit less work, going to a fabulous wedding, seeing friends from far away, wonderful family reunion to catch up properly with each other’s lives.
Some has been less good. The sadness of older people getting older, pets becoming ill, missing friends who are no longer close by.
Summer is a Special time in my head. A time that feels easy because we can be outside. A time that reminds me of time to do nothing, time to sit and just be still.
Today there is less time for just sitting, it doesn’t just happen. I have to make time by getting up early or by scheduling a break in the middle of a busy day.
Either way, I do know that making time to just sit, without my head wandering to thinking about stuff that “needs doing” is what keeps me sane.
It isn't easy. As soon as I sit down things keep popping into my head, lists of things that need doing right that moment. I feel guilty taking time out. I feel I am wasting time, wasting time I am lucky to have
Suppose I allow those thoughts and consider them, what would they be telling me?
They are maybe saying that I need to prove to myself that I am useful. That I need to be working all the time to earn my right to live. That serious clever people don’t stop.
Which I know I don’t believe but maybe these thoughts are actually there all the time. Imposter syndrome, that’s tell you you’ll be found out as not being good enough, kicks in
So by allowing such thoughts to come into my head and then considering them, I maybe get closer to what it is all about. If I dismissed then as “just thoughts” I’d certainly get some quiet time in my head
But I’d also be denying myself and why I get these thoughts in the first place. These thoughts are there. They came from somewhere.
So when you sit quietlyy, meditate, take time out, whatever you call it, notice the thoughts, worries, lists. Note them. Let them linger for a bit.
And then try to consider where they came from and what they are doing to you.
You may find out something about yourself that explains something you’ve wondered about. It may be that such thoughts were once a protective mechanism and now they can be let go.