Sometimes we all do things we wish we hadn’t done.
Sometimes we do things we are glad we did, but still sort of wish we hadn’t
And sometimes we do things we are actually very glad we did, but think we should wish we hadn’t.
It’s that last one thats so difficult isn’t it!
What’s that about?
Thinking we should feel one way or the other is about thinking that there are rules that we need to follow.
When we were little there were certainly rules; house rules, school rules, friendship group rules.
Now we are older there are rules designed to protect us or those around us. Other rules are designed to make life fairer, like insider dealing for example.
And there are rules we simply make up.
Sometimes these rules depend on the culture or country we live in.
Sometimes they aren't really rules at all, but are just what we think everyone thinks are rules: We still feel we’ve done something really bad when we break these “not-even-rules” rules.
And does breaking rules make us bad people? Or does that make us people?
We all break rules from time to time whether we mean to or not and whether they are real rules or made up.
Sometimes it matters more more than others of course.
If the point of the rule is to avoid us hurting each other, what happens when we break them and manage to avoid hurting the people around us?
Is it ourselves we hurt then?